Are you Sick of Ongoing Battles with Your Ex?
Discover How to Quit Fighting and Uncover Your
Shared Goals So You Can Reduce Stress, Minimize
Battles and Sleep Peacefully at Night. . .
From: Cat Zavis
Bellingham, WA USA
Are the ongoing battles with your Ex draining your energy and making it hard for you to focus on other things?
Are you tired of losing your temper with your Ex and having to apologize?
Maybe you keep trying to explain what you want . . . and are worn-out by not being heard.
Or maybe worry your children are suffering as a result of your fighting and want something different for them (and you).
If you’re like me, you envision ease in your communication with your Ex. And you know you are ready to create that in your life.
You dream of a co-parenting relationship where you can work together with your Ex so your children thrive.
But . . . if only it were that easy!
Knowing how to transform your relationship with your Ex can feel
hopeless and overwhelming
You’re probably struggling with:
- How do make sure my children are in the center, but not ‘stuck in the middle’?
- What do I do when my children complain about the other parent (or step parent)?
- How can I make agreements when I’ve tried 1000 times before?
- What do I do when my child says, “You’ve ruined my life”?
- How do I keep things in perspective?
If any of these questions have gone through your mind, you are not alone.
If you’ve tried to change your interactions with your Ex with disappointing results. . .
Or if you’re unclear how to respond when your Ex insults you in front of your children. . .
And if your current way of responding to your Ex does not get you what you want. . .
I would be honored to help you transform your interactions and make your relationship with Ex healthier so your children thrive and you sleep peacefully at night.
“What inspired me to create the Thriving Together! – 5 Secrets to a Child Friendly Divorce”
In just 4 ½ years I have transformed my life. I have taught Nonviolent Communication to hundreds of parents, professionals, couples, teachers and students, have mediated hundreds of divorces, family conflicts and break-ups, and have represented dozens of individuals in the Collaborative Divorce Process.
I am in a loving relationship in which my partner and I communicate with honesty and compassion.
My children and I have a fun and loving relationship and I know how to support them so they are not put in the middle.
I stay calm when my Ex yells at me, uncover the shared goals hidden in our disagreements, and find ways to meet my needs regardless of what my Ex does.
And, to boot, I have a thriving business that I love in which I am honored to contribute to the well-being of parents and children.
But it wasn’t always this way. . .
In Africa w/future husband…
In 1990, my future husband and I were traveling in Africa and wanted to get off the beaten path. To do that, we decided to climb Mt Elgon, a mountain that borders Uganda and Kenya, to cross from Uganda to Kenya via the mountain.
We went to a small village in Uganda where we met local people and stayed the night. We hired guides from the village to guide us to the top of the mountain where the border lies and then we would continue into Kenya and they would return to their village in Uganda.
For 2 days we had an awesome time hiking in beautiful mountain territory. We arrived at the hot springs where the guides were going to turn around and we would continue into Kenya. Just as they were getting ready to leave, they told us that they saw poachers on the mountain and that they would kill us. We were skeptical but our guides were insistent and we followed them off the trail up the mountain.
Sure enough, as we were climbing the mountain side, the poachers shot at us. The guides took off and we were left alone on the mountain, lost and didn’t know where to go. The mountain was incredibly foggy and even snowed one morning. We were hiking in dense fog and thick mountain forest and even though we were only a few feet from each other, we often could not see each other. We were terrified.
The second night lost on the mountain, we were in our tent and I collapsed in tent. I remember distinctly deciding at that moment to move beyond fear to DETERMINATION – determination to survive.
We woke up the next morning and the fog had lifted for a short time and we could see farmland below us so we decided to walk to the farmland because we knew people would be there, even though we did not know if that was in Kenya or Uganda. We walked towards the farmland and after many hours of hiking we came to a very large logging road that crossed our path and ran perpendicular to the direction we were headed. We realized that we had to take the road because clearly people had been driving on this road. But we had to choose a direction and stick with it. So we looked at each other and chose to go right. And after many hours we came upon Kenyan park workers who took us to the local village.
After our trip, we returned home. I was working as a public defender in Seattle and he was working with another lawyer in a small firm. We had two boys and life was going quite well.
But then life took a turn downward. As we got more and more busy, as our views on parenting differed, and other things came between us, we grew further and further apart. The distance and lack of connection created resentment; even contempt grew. We came upon our own mountain – we were lost again, and could not see each other through all the pain and hurt. Unlike the mountain, we could not find our way back to each other. We became our own poachers – shooting at each other’s hearts.
Once we separated and through the divorce – things deteriorated, battles and struggles grew and the friction and tension just increased.
Anger and hurt fueled our interactions. We were unable to communicate in an effective and healthy way and the kids were often stuck in middle.
I was exhausted and worried that the kids would be another casualty of divorce.
Then one day, I collapsed on floor in kitchen (just like I had in the tent). I allowed myself to feel the depths of my grief, but did not know what to do. As I sat on the kitchen floor just being present with the depth of my sorrow, just like I had moved beyond fear on the mountain, I moved beyond grief, anger, hurt, and fear to determination. Determination to make sure that my kids would thrive and that I would heal.
As I sat there, I reflected on the compassion I had gained through my training in and teaching of Nonviolent CommunicationSM and work in self-awareness and self-growth,
The 20+ years of knowledge and experience as an attorney and mediator helping hundreds of clients,
And, the guidance and skills I have gained as a coach and trainer for mediators, parents, teachers and others in conflict resolution and communication to transform this pain into healing and love.
I was determined to find a way to navigate my divorce and post-divorce co-parenting relationship in a way that would help ensure my own sanity and well-being and the well-being of my children. I was determined to stop the blame game, to stop caring about being right and focus my energy and attention on being clear, powerful and strongly committed to what was best for my kids. I became unwavering in my persistence to ensure that my decisions, solutions, proposals and positions were grounded in what was truly best for my children and not in my own emotional turmoil.
Doing so was quite challenging at times and to help me remain committed to my highest intentions, I had someone I could rely on to compassionately and powerfully help keep me on track.
Putting their needs first drove my actions and behaviors. One of their greatest needs was for their dad and I to have more ease in our relationship. So I did everything I could in my power to change our conversations from trying to convince him that I was right to understanding what mattered most to both of us and proposing solutions that would serve those shared goals.
Now, years later – that is exactly what I have done. Using some of same skills that I share in this product and that I have shared with 100s of clients and professionals, life is flowing with greater ease and joy. I am living in alignment with my values, my relationships with my children are thriving, my kids are doing great and life is flowing with a quality of ease and grace I could not imagine possible a few years ago.
My relationship with my former husband is smoother and when things occur that are difficult, I am able to navigate those situations with grace.
“Now I want to help YOU enjoy these results,
so you have more peace in your life. . .”
You’ll discover the skills to help transform your relationship with your Ex. . .
My proven system can help you transform your interactions with your Ex immediately
Once you learn these tools, you will be able to create the choices and changes you want in your relationship with your Ex.
Hear the inspiring transformations that happen for people who learn these skills:
“Thank you for your guidance through our process…we were able to navigate through with your help and have become better friends and parents to our son.” ~ K.Q.
“Working with Cat has been a gift and has taught me the tools needed to be an empathetic listener, to express my own needs and how to get these needs met.
It has been three years since the divorce and my relationship with my ex-wife is amiable. It is with great relief to me that today we are able to communicate in a healthy way and provide our child with two healthy homes. The difference today compared to our last three years of marriage is next to a miracle and I can contribute a large portion of this success to working with Cat. Thank you.” ~ Mark Goodman
“Thank you. This morning my husband and I initiated a new way of communicating with each other thanks to the skills I am learning and have learned under your loving, compassionate tutelage. These tools are already being put to use in my life and home. I have a deep sense of gratitude for you and the work you are doing in the world, and how it is enriching my life.” ~ Carolyn Hallett, homeopathic practitioner
“Your compassionate listening and empathic way of sharing information and skills were PHENOMENAL! You should write a book: “Beyond Tact: Peacemaking under Duress!” Really, really nice job.” ~Virginia Herrick, spiritual community member, writer, editor and designer
“You created a space where intense and complicated interactions could be explored with full respect. Your feedback offered very valuable perspective into the way I interact with the people around me.
I was especially impressed by the depth of your insight. Since the workshop, I have practiced the techniques you shared with us, and I have clearly felt the benefits.
My clients seem to feel more heard, my personal boundaries have improved, and I have generally been more calm, and more present with the people around me.’ ~ Ruthie V., artist
Even divorce professionals with years of experience have used these tools to help themselves and their clients:
“I hired Cat J. Zavis to give a three-day training to my local group consisting of attorneys and mental health providers. It was important to me to have Cat teach our group because she brings unique talents and skills in conflict resolution and Nonviolent CommunicationSM that I believe are critical in our work. Before the training, we often struggled with clients, and even collaborative members [within our group], stuck in disagreements and positions without any clear way to move through them. After the training, my colleagues and I had a common language and ability to communicate that allowed us to seamlessly transform our clients’ positions and disagreements into their shared goals and solutions that would work for both of them. It was truly amazing.” ~ Mark Springfield, Collaborative Attorney, North Carolina
“I’ve used Cat to facilitate interactions between attorneys. Her insights were deep, her performance professional and she may have saved the case from self-destruction. That was years ago, but just this week I reviewed materials she wrote about communication and used those ideas to help a participant in a collaborative [divorce] case improve her communication. Cat has an uncanny ability to quickly assess a situation and to offer paradigm-shifting advice. She is a valuable resource to you as a mediator, facilitator, trainer and attorney. I wish my practice was closer to her so we could work together more.” ~ Glenn Tanner, Collaborative Attorney, Spokane, WA
I want this decision to be a no-brainer for you so I am going to make the product 100% risk free.
I can get the product today and take 30 days to really test out the material and decide if this is really for you. If, at the end of 30 days, you feel you haven’t received the value I promised, I will refund your entire purchase price of the product! No questions asked.
Rest assured this online transaction is 100% secure and after your information is received you will get an electronic receipt and instructions within a few minutes.
If you are ready to create real changes in your relationship with your Ex so your children thrive, click the button to get your copy of Thriving Together! – 5 Secrets to a Child Friendly Divorce.
This product consists of:
58-Minute audio recording during which time you will be taught the skills, be guided and coached in how to use them, and have opportunities to practice them so you can implement them in your life immediately (you will be able to listen online or download the recording to your computer or mp3 player)
A workbook with all of the exercises to support your practice along with weekly “homework” assignments to encourage and support you every step of the way,
And a full transcript of the recording in case you prefer to read all or part of the information.
“Confidently uncover shared goals hidden in disagreements. . .”
In the Thriving Together Product, you’ll get my proven system to help you stay calm in challenging interactions and communicate more effectively with your Ex.
What is this worth to you?
Are you ready to:
- Learn concrete tools that will create real results
- Stop bumping your head against a brick wall and do things differently
- Be effective in your communication with your Ex
- Stop fighting and focus on your shared goals
- Make the changes necessary so your children thrive even more
- Get support so you don’t have to do it on your own
If your heart is saying YES, you are ready for this product.
The value of this Product is $97.00 – a tiny investment to have the tools to help you transform your relationship with your Ex.
“Sounds great, Cat, but my Ex is the problem and I’ve tried a zillion things already.”
I get it. You want to change the dynamic with your Ex but you think it takes two to tango. But you know what?
It’s so easy to trap yourself in the belief that unless my Ex changes, nothing will change. If you don’t do anything different, nothing will change. You’re going to continue to struggle and wish things would change.
But you CAN break out of this cycle. You just need to show your commitment by investing a little more energy. Take the steps to change your experience and find more peace in your life with a proven model.
The only person who’s going to make your dream a reality is YOU and it starts here.
How long do you want to wait to get results? This product teaches you the tools and skills to hear and connect with yourself so you have the power to change the relationship with your Ex whether your Ex ever changes.
So there’s really no excuse! Go ahead and do it, you’ll be so glad you did!
Yes Cat, I’m ready to transform my relationship with my Ex!
Rest easy – your order will be processed on secure servers.
You will receive an electronic receipt within a few minutes.
Great ready for more confidence, clarity and peace. . .
This program, combined with your commitment to your children, is going to be truly transformational.
I am SO excited to share the Thriving Together! product with you.
Cat J. Zavis
Attorney, Mediator, and
Coach for Divorced and Divorcing Parents
PS: Don’t miss an AMAZING opportunity to learn how to FOCUS ON YOUR SHARED GOALS and GET MORE OF YOUR NEEDS MET.
“When I first met Cat, my husband and I were at the end of our marriage. Every discussion turned into an argument and I had a very hard time knowing whether I’d been heard or not. We had a strong need to communicate and reach agreements as we had young children whose welfare we wanted to prioritize throughout the divorce and afterwards.
Both of us were experiencing a strong disconnection from each other, and a great deal of pain and mistrust. We were on our third marriage counselor and at a standstill. That is when we turned to Cat. Cat’s work gave us a structure that we could follow and use to actually get somewhere. After just one session, we were not only able to use the format she taught us but also have the presence of mind to actually do so. By using these tools we were able to speak and listen to each other despite our strong emotions and the chaos in our relationship.
These tools were like a life raft that we could count on. We wanted to be able to communicate clearly in order to separate our lives and make the best parenting choices possible for our children.
Cat had an intelligent, kind, and skillful ability to understand what each of us was saying. She coached us to be able to speak with each other in ways that we could hear at the most devastating period in our lives.
She stayed neutral, positive and optimistic. She was patient, deeply focused and committed to following our process to a place of mutual understanding.
It’s been four years since our first session with Cat. My (now) former husband and I meet regularly to discuss parenting issues. When we disagree and are struggling, we use the skills Cat taught us so we can focus on our shared goals rather than our disagreements. This has helped make the transition easier for our kids.
Not only have these tools helped me parent with my kids’ dad, but I also use these tools in all my relationships and interactions both in work and as a parent. I am enthusiastically discovering how much they help create a quality of mutual understanding so that we can co-create outcomes that work for everyone involved.
Learning from and being coached by Cat Zavis has deeply enriched my life. I now have the tools and experience that give me courage to communicate calmly in difficult situations while staying true to myself. I also have the confidence to show up to people I encounter in all kinds of situations, and am optimistic that I can nurture compassion for everyone in my life.” ~Sarah Clarke
Parenting With Your Ex
1118 Finnegan Way, Suite 102
Bellingham, WA 98225
© 2011 Parenting With Your Ex