Emotions and Divorce – Get a Grip!

Parents often are scared and don’t know how to proceed when they find themselves ready to get a divorce. They feel heartbroken, angry, terrified and shocked. At this emotional low-point in their lives, they often don’t know where to turn to help them navigate these murky and emotionally charged waters. CLICK HERE to watch my video on why it’s important to separate your emotions from your legal … [Read more...]

Thank You to the Kids of Divorced Parents

Dear Children of Parents Who No Longer Live Together: I am deeply grateful for the lessons you have taught me. It is with humbleness and awe that I work with you and your parents and that I parent you myself. The challenges you face and the unrest you overcome is inspiring. We undoubtedly do not acknowledge or appreciate you often enough. Here are a just a few things I … [Read more...]

This SUCKS – Where’s My Co-Parent?

I’ve written quite a bit about grieving and the sense of loss we feel when our marriage or relationship ends and the importance of recognizing and grieving that loss. (To read more, click here.) But Tuesday, I was on my question and answer call for my upcoming program – Parenting With Your Ex: Keep Your Kids Out of the Emotional Crossfire - that begins October 1st - and on that call … [Read more...]

How The Heck Does One Grieve and Mourn?!

In my previous blog, Grief: The Birthplace of Healing, Repair and Transformation, I shared why it is important for you to grieve and mourn, but what if you find you simply cannot grieve and mourn at all? I have had many clients tell me that they don’t know how to grieve and mourn and have asked for my help with this process. I find this extremely sad because what it tells me is that we have … [Read more...]

GRIEF – The Birthplace of Healing, Repair and Transformation

In order to be the best parents we can be, it is essential for us to know how to support our children without our issues interfering with our ability to be present with them and their needs. One common thing I see in my work with divorce couples is each person’s propensity to blame the other. One of the reasons we blame others is to avoid our own discomfort and pain. It is easier to point the … [Read more...]

Be Supportive Without Micromanaging

Have you wondered how you could be committed to supporting your child’s relationship with your Ex without taking a “hands-on” kind of responsibility? Actually, there is a way to support your child’s relationship with your Ex without micromanaging it. That is if you are willing to let go of the small stuff that is no longer yours to manage and instead encourage your child to advocate for … [Read more...]

So Your Child’s Upset with Your Former . . . Now What?

I often hear from parents that they don’t know what to do when their child comes home from the other parent’s house complaining about the other parent. It is so hard to know how to respond so that you are supporting your child and not putting yourself in the middle. And sometimes you are so upset about what the child has told you that it is all you can do to not call or go over to the other … [Read more...]

Creating Change – Express YOUR NEEDS

In my work I often help clients figure out how to tell their spouse or former spouse why they are so upset and what they want.  And yet often when I begin to explore what they really want, all they focus on is what they don’t want, what they are so upset about, what the other person is doing wrong, why the other person is bad, etc.  The problem with focusing on all the problems and faults of the … [Read more...]

Needs . . . What’s All the Fuss About?

I help parents explore and understand their needs so that they can transform their families in a way that best serves their needs – as individuals and as a family.  Helping parents understand the multiple needs of family members helps them create a parenting plan that balances the needs of all concerned.  What can be challenging in this process is helping parents discover what their real needs … [Read more...]

Go Ahead and Blame – Just Don’t Count On Healing And Moving On If You Do!

Okay, so your Ex just really pissed you off and it is all you can do to keep yourself from jumping in your car, screeching up in front of her house, stomping to the door and screaming in her face when she opens the door.  Grrrr…how could she do that after all the times you’ve told her it wouldn’t work for you if she did!? Unbelievable, right? Your blood is boiling and you can barely think about … [Read more...]