Parenting With Your Ex
Perhaps it will seem strange at first for me to say this, but putting your child’s needs before your own after divorce includes letting go. When I talk about letting go, I’m not referring to letting go of the love and bond you have with your child or letting go of the responsibilities you have to your children, etc. What I’m referring to are the helpful ways to let go while your child is … [Read more...]
When you first connect with your child, whether that first moment is when your child is in utero, upon his/her birth, or when you first see or hold your child, there is really no other moment in the world like it. Words are inadequate to describe the feelings of awe and wonder, of love and adoration, of blessings and miracles. Parents talk about how they never knew their heart could love … [Read more...]
When I spoke previously about self-empathy, I was speaking about empathy we provide to ourselves. As I mentioned in that blog, until you can give yourself empathy, it is really difficult to provide empathy to someone else, especially your Ex. In fact, trying to provide empathy to your Ex when you are triggered yourself is not advised! Empathy for others is no different from when we have empathy … [Read more...]
Tired of Feeling Powerless? The times when your fear and anxiety is front and center, you are usually defensive and reactive. You find it nearly impossible to hear the other person’s perspective let alone make the best decisions. Think of it this way, imagine being curled up in a little ball and thinking that things that are really precious to you are going to be taken away – your … [Read more...]
When your fears and anxieties get the best of you and you are unable to control them, they will control you, leaving you in tatters and wondering what the heck happened. Learning how to manage your fears and anxieties gives you back your sense of power and control, allowing you to choose how to interact rather than simply react. As you may have noticed thus far, I focus a lot on the value of … [Read more...]
Down the long and winding road of divorce and co-parenting with your ex, I found any number of opportunities to judge myself and beat myself up. It happens, for sure, but I would like to suggest another, more healthy option – self-compassion. When we beat ourselves, we are focusing on what we did that did not work rather than on what we can do differently. When we say, “I have to stop doing … [Read more...]
Another key challenge parents face in the arduous journey of parenting with your Ex is to embrace both self-compassion and self-empathy. While they are similar, they are also distinctly different. I believe that self-compassion is the ability to love oneself and accept one’s shortcomings without judgment; recognizing yourself as human and that you are not perfect. You are going to make … [Read more...]
As I mentioned in my last blog, over the next 6 months, February through July, I am going to unveil 6 different basic skills I believe are necessary for parents going through a divorce (or break-up with a partner with whom you co-parent) to master. I am so excited to share these with you as you move through your divorce and post-divorce life because I believe that by mastering these competencies … [Read more...]
Over the next 6 months, February through July, I will be taking advantage of the “fresh start” of this New Year to blaze a new trail with my blogs. I invite you to join me on the journey and I hope it will be as helpful to you as it has been for me in shifting my dynamic in my relationship with my children and their dad. During the next six months, I am going to unveil 6 different basic … [Read more...]
Peace ~ An Act, Not Simply a Practice “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.” ~ Jimi Hendrix While many of us remember 9/11 as the bombing of the World Trade Center, I'd like to offer a different historical memory. I offer this perspective because I want us to focus on the possibility of healing and transformation rather than on terror … [Read more...]
